Goodbye

Lately, I've had to say goodbye to a lot of people - well, technically I announced I'm switching companies - and I've been wondering why it felt so difficult. For me personally, it was simply moving on to a new location or a new chapter in my life, something I just had to do.

But for the others, I saw sadness in their eyes. Even though many said it was okay and wished me well moving forward, I realized that at some level, there was something unsaid left.

This made me curious, so I did some quick research for myself.

According to Finkelstein (2020), when the time of separation arrives, we should give respect to our endings. I understand this to mean that we need to say goodbye so the other person knows we're ending that connection. But I wondered: what if it's not a goodbye at all for one of the parties? One might think we're just farther apart now and won't see each other as often, simply for that reason.

Additionally, goodbyes are interpreted as painful or something that cannot be fully processed, leaving things unresolved, if I interpret Finkelstein (2020) correctly.

My personal view might differ slightly. I haven't come to a firm conclusion on this, but I think different cultures and people from different countries handle moments of separation differently. In the corporate world, where people are often separated from each other, I find this especially interesting. I would have never expected some specific people I rarely worked with to become a little emotional, while from those I thought would be sad, I saw they weren't sad at all, quite the opposite.

This must be a much deeper issue, originating from within each person themselves. And I believe I won't come to a conclusion about this today.

But it made me think a lot.

References
Finkelstein, J., PhD. (2020, October 4). How do we say goodbye to what was? Psychology Today.